Saturday, May 9

Fell of the bandwagon, very very badly :( Stayed off the scales, and gained about 20lbs in 3 months. Errrrk. Stupid eating disorder leading me to having no metabolism, equalling SUPERFAST weight gain.

My mum pointed out the other day that I can't fit in my favourite dress any more, the one I bought the week before I hit my lowest weight: the buttons are straining! You can't possibly wear that!
I cried and cried, then went on the scales and realised my tremendous gain. Cried more.

Have also really been getting into lookbook.nu and everyone is so super thin. Looking at photos of myself I've taken for it, I almost threw up, and had to wipe my camera memory card. I don't understand how I could let myself get into such a huge state.

Mon Dieu, I have so much work to do.

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