I HAVE A FUCKING TYRE!
(I would like to clarify that this was a joke, although not a very funny one that I have not even half forgiven him for, especially not when followed the day after by 'are you sure you'll be able to fit out of the car? Is it 'cause you're a little bit overweight?'. Again, this is in complete keeping with the fact that we mock each other about EVERYTHING, and he has specified to me previously that he would only ever mock something that clearly wasn't true (i.e. shit radio skills, bad dress sense) so I can't really complain.. but he has no idea that it actually makes me want to induce vomiting and then hurt myself)
Screw men. When it comes time for me to settle down, a crazy 30 something businesswoman, I'm going for Tina Fey's incredibly sexy, power lesbian identical twin.
I don't think she officially has one. But I'm going to find her, if it's the last thing I do.