Today, someone poked me in the spine as I was speaking to someone else. Their opening line was then:

'Wow, I didn't realise you were so skinny! That hurt me... must've hurt you!'

a) Apparently, I have a pointy spine.

b) What do you expect, if you poke said pointy spine?

c) 'I didn't realise you were so skinny' - fucking brilliant.

I nearly passed out on the toilet at work today. I'M GOING TO DIE LIKE ELVIS.