fears

are funny. Just because a food or drink is on this list, it doesn't mean I don't ever have it. It's just that.. I hate doing it.



I don't like eating melted cheese. Especially not orange cheese, because it's rank, and the grease shows up much more. Thin slices of reduced fat Co-op white cheddar are fine. I'll even consider eating chips and cheese on a particularly stressful and hungry school day - as long as the cheese doesn't melt on to the chips, because then I have to pick it off. I can feel my stomach exploding as I eat it. I don't know why I do.



Crisps. Hello, 1tsp fat in one Pringle? Never, ever again.



Flapjacks are my biggest fear, ever. Flapjacks, and ice cream isn't great either, as it feels a bit like creamy liquid fat, and doesn't even taste that nice.



On the subject of creamy, pasta sauce, or curry sauce. Tomato-y, vegetable-y, herb-y - fine. Creamy? Arrgh arrgh arrgh. If it has to be, make it half fat creme fraiche. Thanks, mum.



Croissants and other pasteries. Glistening. And used to be my absolute favourites :/



Pizza. Don't get me wrong, I eat the odd slice of pizza if I have to share tea with Brother, although I tend to remove excess cheese and toppings. But.. it's always massive. It has a big, carby base. And if it's small, it's cheesy. It makes me uncomfortable.



Anything from a restaurant. Particularly Indian - I've worked out my formula for Chinese, but I haven't quite made it with curries yet.



White bread - we haven't had it in our house for years and I can't even remember what it tastes like. I have a horrible feeling I'd get really addicted to it if I did eat it, though, so I just avoid it like the plague.



Certain cakes and fancies, like caramel slice and cheesecake. It's the.. shiny look of it. It's not dry.



Mashed potatoes. I barely eat potatoes, NEVER in mash and once in a blue moon whole. Mash is just.. revolting. The texture, the smell, the memories of primary school dinners.. they render me bulimic at the mere mention of the name.



Shortbread. My favourite binge food. I could easily wolf down a box of Walkers Shortbread Highlanders, without thinking twice. Maybe two. Yet I know there are 1000kcals in a box. They're butter, basically, and you can taste it. On a binge, it doesn't matter. Not on a binge.. oh my God..



Tea with milk. I'm terrified of the calories in the milk, because they all add up, and I used to drink at least 6 mugs of tea with milk a day. At least I don't take sugar. I hate smelling the milk when I put the cup to my mouth, and the creaminess of it in my mouth.



"Full fat" CocaCola, 7Up and other fizzy drinks. DEAR LORD. Why would anyone invent a liquid with so many calories in it?! 200kcals in a 500ml bottle.. that's like a meal.. :/ I wouldn't drink Coke brought to a table in a restaurant that didn't come with the can so that I could ensure it was Diet. I also wouldn't trust anyone to buy me a drink in a bar, just incase it was full fat Coke and not Diet.



And on the subject of bars, alcohol. Until Friday, I'd had three glasses of wine this whole year. Then I had three more. Again, why are there so many calories in a liquid!?







Then, illogically, there are things that appear to have become exceptions to the rule. Dairy Milk. I'll happily eat Dairy Milk, and could easily devour the 400g bar sitting in my bag for my French class tomorrow - it tastes so nice. I also, as mentioned earlier, eat chips and cheese when I'm hungry at school. It started off as a show for friends who thought I wasn't eating properly - now it's just become a 'starving? Like, honestly - can't cope hungry? Let's have the fattiest thing on the menu, you might as well, because you're going to binge anyway' thing.







Making a GP appointment for the holidays. This could be the worst idea of my life.