Tuesday, March 10

today, summarised

Get up
Hide breakfast
Go to school
Teacher-whom-I-cried-in-front-of-last-week tells me that when I concentrate on my work, I constantly tap my feet
I laugh it off and pretend I didn't realise
Secretly, I worry because he is ridiculously observant, clearly worried, and cannot cannot find out about doing everything possible to burn calories
Have a hot chocolate and two biscuits in the library while studying
Put on show for friends, eating chips and cheese, followed by an apple and cinnamon muffin for lunch
Realise halfway through the afternoon that my stomach can no longer cope with the amount of fat in chips and cheese
Spend half the afternoon shitting
Go to gym with friend after school
Don't burn enough, am too sore, too tired, and need to shit too much
Am delivered home just before tea. Thought I might avoid it, hence why I ate so much at lunch
Tea is fajitas. I smile, and eat.
Need to shit. Again.
Wish I was 6 stone 3 pound girl on Supersize vs Superskinny
Read 62 pages of 'Thin' by Grace Bowman
Identify myself at some point on almost every page
Pluck up courage to phone helpline

'I'm sorry, all our lines are busy at the moment'

Oh fuck you.

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